2022/23 PREMIER LEAGUE PREDICTIONS
Rejoice friends and family for the greatest month of the year is here and with comes a great event, my birthday and to a lesser extent the return of the Premier League to our screens. Now what sort of self respecting Football opinionated forum would this be if it did not have a prediction list? For this we shall look at the teams I believe will be in the top 4, the three teams I think shall be relegated, our golden boot winner, assist leader, and golden glove winner. I might even give a complete league table depending on my mood as I write this. Now lets get started.
TOP 4
4. Manchester United
Ok now this may be inspired and motivated by a small amount of bias, but listen to me, hear me out please PLEASE! Now you might say that teams like Arsenal and Spurs have had better transfer windows, you might even say they have better more balanced teams, and heck you could go as far as saying that Spurs have one of the top 4 managers in the League who was able to deliver Champions League football despite the fact that he only had half the season to work with and players such as Emerson Royal and Harry Winks to deal with and now he has a whole summer to help get his philosophy across as well as making his own type of signings. Now if you say all these things and add the fact that Manchester United finished with their worst ever points tally and would be in the Europa Conference League if not for Brighton beating West Ham and that United recruitment this summer has been bordering on the depressing as they continue to chase after someone who doesn’t want anything to do with them like poorly written teen love story. If you say all these things then yes it would be hard to give you all a definitive and conclusive answer and reason as to why I put United 4th however, I can not look passed Erik Ten Hag, the man will have a monumental task but he has the tools, I do believe we will see FDJ in the midfield and I do believe CR7 will stay which will give them more than enough to see them over the line as the team continues to grow under ETH, but if McFred stays in that midfield then we will finish 7th
3. Chelsea
Alright full disclosure, I Would rather this team win the League ahead of the teams which will finish above them (We all know the two teams that will finish first and second) but I doubt that we will see Chelsea do much in terms of challenging. Chelsea did not have a good season last time round and that is not only because of the whole situation with them and Roman, Chelsea went off the boil in and around late November after they drew against a horrendously poor Man United, when City and Liverpool went on a stretch, Lukaku stopped scoring , the team stopped winning and they looked lost, less we forget the interview which made Lukaku seem like he was at Stamford Bridge against his will. Tuchel is a great manager and he is adding a lot into the defence which is where it starts, keeping a clean sheet guarantees a point, but its their options going forward that worry me and their lack of fire power after letting go of Lukaku and the potential of Werner leaving as well, to be fair Werner may cause them to lose more goal threat if he stays, this will drastically inhibit the chances of them challenging let alone winning the League, the 3rd seems about right.
2. Liverpool
It brings me no joy or pleasure to bare witness the rise of Liverpool, it brings me no joy or pleasure to sit here and write that I believe Liverpool shall have yet another successful season but this is the life we live in. We live in that part of WWE history around lets say 2008 when it was John Cena and Randy Orton time and time and time again, the two best in the world on the brand and that is the rivalry between Pep and Klopp, City and Liverpool but in such rivalries one will forever be the number 2 the second place and its a shame for Liverpool that years from now when the dust has settled on this rivalry they will be seen as the Randy Ortons, had they success here and there displaced the champions, fun to watch, came OUT OF NOWHERE, but forever second place and that is where Liverpool will find themselves again, losing Mane was a major hit to their team and we shall see if they have a suitable replacement with Nunez, but they always seem like they are a Virgil injury away from falling apart faster than a the career of someone cancelled by the woke culture, but really they will be number 2 just cause of the team which is number one.
1. Manchester City
In other news water wet. In almost every prediction list you will find this team as number one, and I wont be trying to prove a point or try to look different by picking another team at the top but lets not get it twisted we still live in the realm of commonsense, excluding the 4th placed team on this list which serves as me being different, and Man City are the dons of this League, they are literally the “Cena Wins Lol” meme, they get over the line time and time and time again, even when it doesn’t make sense for them to. For them to be Champions, they’ve needed to get more than 90 points or at least 1 point more than a dominant Liverpool team, and baring a blimp year when Liverpool entered pure Roman Reigns Tribal Chief Mode (last Wrestling reference I promise) and they did it each time, they kept defying reality and hulked their way to title after title and now they have Haaland Haaland! This team will win the League, it will happen, t they have the depth and the manager all we other fans have to look forward to is them crashing out of the Champions League which they inevitably will.
Relegation
18. Fulham
I mean, its Fulham!
19. Brentford
Side bar, did you know that Fulham and Norwich City have replaced each other in the Premier League for the past 5 premier League seasons? That should be enough of a reason for why they are going down.
Now lets be blunt, Brentford are the next Sheffield United, great first season but will likely have a reality check of second season syndrome which will see them in a relegation dog fight sacking their current manager and for someone like Big Sam, but ot will be too little too late and their dream shall come to an abrupt end.
20. Nottingham Forest
Fun fact, Forest hold the record of largest home defeat in Premier League history after losing 1-8 to Manchester United, what does have to do with them going down? Nothing at all, but you’ve learnt something you’re welcome. Forest have increased the number of Champions Leagues in the Premier League by 2 by entering the League and even though there is a certain brilliance in regards to the promotion of a once great team, they do not have enough in my view to avoid the drop and adding an overpaid tiktok dancer to the team shall not help them (second article in a row I have reference tiktok and that makes me sad) Forest will go down and its as simple as that.
Golden Glove: Ederson (Manchester City)
Man that neck tattoo is wild, I’m not sure what it is but it makes me feel like he got it to confuse on coming strikers and strike fear in them to help them miss shots cause his goalkeeping will not get the job done. I do believe there are better goalkeepers than Ederson such as Becker, De Gea and Mendy, at purely shot stopping, but with his feet he has no equal and he suits a system that makes it very hard for the opposition to have the ball and as such he will likely not concede a lot.
Ederson- 21 Clean sheets
Lloris- 19 CS
Becker- 17 CS
Mendy- 16 CS
DDG- 14 (if Maguire and Lindelof play 80% of matches, if not then he will have 17 CS)
Assist Leader: Kevin De Bruyne (Manchester CIty)
I mean yeah he has a new toy to play with up front and though he has competition to deal with in the shape TAA and his potential to cross the ball towards Nunez as well as the like of Eriksen at Man Utd should CR7 stay, I find it incredibly unlikely that they will be able to match the output that KDB brings especially now that he has…
KDB- 17 assists
TAA- 13 assists
Roberstson- 12 assists
Eriksen- 12 assists
Cancelo- 11 assists
Golden Boot: Erling Haaland (Manchester City)
Haaland Haaland HA HA HA HAALAND HEY! That song lives rent free in my head and of course Haaland will win the golden boot, he is playing with a team that has so many options when it comes to chance creation such as the aforementioned KDB as well as other in and around him as well as his own ability for self creation of goal scoring chances given his speed, strength, clinical long distance shooting and under appreciate ball control Erling has all the tools to be the top scorer this season and it may not even be close.
Haaland- 35 goals
Salah- 27 goals
Kane- 27 goals
Ronaldo- 23 goals
Son- 21 goals